I want to be real with you. I don’t want to share all the good and none of the bad. Social media has cultivated this idea that life is only worth sharing if it’s sunny days and smooth sailing. We see girls with the perfect lighting showing off their bibles with perfect notes with a cup of freshly brewed coffee sitting on their perfectly tidy desk (guilty of this photo). Beautiful shaved legs on wrinkled white sheets with breakfast in bed complete with garden picked flowers from her husband. The perfect sunset sky behind their smoothed out wrinkles and bright shining smile. Thanks to every photoshop app, you know the posts I mean. Well, life isn’t always like that. Sometimes the waters are rough and the skies are dark. If this post were to be a picture you would see me in poor lighting, struggling to smile with a heap of laundry on the couch and dirty dishes on the coffee table complete with the outfit I wore to bed last night because I sure haven’t had the time or rather made the effort to change. Or do my makeup. Or brush my hair. This is a post you would scroll past. But I hope you don’t.
I have a wonderful life. I’ve been married for almost 4 years. We have a beautiful daughter who is almost 8 months old. We own a stunning new little house. We gave each other cute Christmas gifts that we spent too much money on. My husband makes lots of money, allowing me the honor of staying home with our Little. Add a white picket fence and I’ve got it all. My car runs in -40 (C) weather and has good tires. There is food in our fridge (although some of it is very old and moldy… we like to play the “who will get sick of it first?” game), my closet is bursting with more clothes than I can wear and our daughter wants for nothing. Probably because she can’t talk yet, but you get the idea. Life is ‘perfect’.
Yet, I sit here in my beautiful living room, looking out my big bay windows and all I feel is regret. I didn’t travel. I haven’t hula hooped on a mountain top. In fact, I don’t hula hoop at all anymore. I don’t craft anymore. I don’t write anymore. I’ve never been to College or University… I should have learned more by now. I should have more goals, more lists, more freedom. I wanted to be doing more music than this. I’m stuck. I’m cornered into this mold of Mom and Wife… how did I get here? Isn’t this the life I wanted? I thought I did. Do I want it anymore?
(Boy I hope you keep reading)
These thoughts are swirling around in my head so fast I can hardly stand up without feeling dizzy. And I am sad to confess, that for a moment there, I believed them all. All those thoughts were becoming real truths. I was entertaining ideas of how to get the change I felt I needed. I fell into the trap of feeling sorry for myself and thinking “I NEED OUT”.
One day I’ll learn to take every thought captive BEFORE I nosedive into the pool of doubt and regret.
It took me a while, but I got there. I AM UNDER ATTACK. Not by another human or earthly pressure, but under spiritual attack. Satan is trying to tear me down. And I hate that it worked for a split second. Then I got real mad and had it out in my office with Satan.
JESUS runs my life. My identity is found in CHRIST. I will call on HIS name and in HIM I will find peace. GO AWAY.
I said much more, but you get the idea. I’m sharing this because I think we all, at one point or another, will be or have been, under attack and not realized it until it’s much too late (feel like a good movie about this? Watch “War Room” A- MA-ZING). The devil is sneaky like that. He works his way into our living rooms, settles into the sofa and waits. He doesn’t always leap out yelling, sometimes he just leans over quietly and whispers into our unguarded ears.
He doesn’t always look like the devil. In fact, 2 Corinthians 11:14 says “And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.”. We have to be so careful not to let him in. Not to be tricked by his manipulative, twisted ways.
“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8). Be on your toes. Pray continually.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). He is not here to play games. He doesn’t want to just throw us off track for a day, he wants to steal, kill and destroy. He means business.
“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:11). The belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, shoes of the gospel of peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit.
We are at war. This is not a joke. He wants to throw your life so far off course that you don’t even recognize who you are anymore.
Not today Satan. I will stand firm in the truth of my God. He has called me a CHILD OF GOD. I am loved. He has blessed my family more than I could have imagined. I am THRILLED to be part of His great plans! He is using me right where I am at! I have a wonderful family, full of opportunity and possibilities! So what, I haven’t hula hooped on top of a mountain… I don’t climb mountains anyway. See that back yard tho? You better believe when this snow clears up (I live in Saskatchewan, Canada… It’s been around -40 degrees Celcius here lately…just a bit cold), I’m getting my hoops out and dancing with the joy of the Lord!
I hope next time the devil is trying to tear you down you realize you are under attack and CALL ON THE NAME OF JESUS ASAP. Whether he is whispering lies or jumping in front of you with temptation… we are in this together. Put on that armor of God and get ready for battle.
And just to be clear, Yes. This is the life I want. This is a beautiful life and I love it. Thank you, Lord.