Today’s thought is pretty simple. What kind of Mama do I want to be? What do I want my little girl to see in my heart, as she watches my every move and hears my every word?
Kids notice everything. And although Zoe is only 10 months old, she already mimics what I do (see the above picture for the cutest “I can copy mama’s face” look), she knows when I’m paying attention and she can tell when I’m not. So the question is simple. What kind of Mama do I want to be and is that the Mama I am right now?
It struck me the other day when I was on my phone, hanging out with Zoe in the living room. She crawled over to me, used my arms to stand up and knocked my phone out of my hands. She smiled and crawled away. She didn’t want my phone, didn’t want to break it or want my attention for anything in particular… she just wanted me. My full attention to watch her, smile at her and make noises with her. I don’t want her now or ever thinking that my phone is more important than her. That I would rather look at facebook than spend time giggling and snuggling.
So I did this.
I wrote out this list of who I hope to be in Zoe’s eyes. And if you have kids (even if you don’t), I encourage you to do the same, keep it by your bed and look at it every day. Memorize it. Become it. Live it out so it’s not just “someday my kid (husband, friend, etc.) will see this in me” but “I’m so happy my kid (husband, friend, etc.) can visually see me being ___”. I’m calling this my list of I Am’s. Not to be confused with I AM of course (God) because I am definitely not God. I am also well aware that as I grow, this list will grow with me.
* I AM aware of my words and the affect they have on others. I speak positivity.
* I AM kind hearted. I will remain kind in my actions to those around me.
* I AM a daughter of God. I will represent Him in everything I do.
* I AM loved. I will share that love with others every chance I get.
* I AM a prayer warrior. I will lift others up to God in constant prayer.
* I AM brave. God has not given me a spirit of fear, there is no room for it in my heart.
* I AM confident. I will love myself and live confidently in who God has created me to be.
* I AM made new! I will not live in the past but look expectantly toward the future.
* I AM a good Wife and Mama. I will do my best every day.
* I AM important. Chosen. I have a purpose, and I will seek daily to fulfill it.
* I AM a studier of His word. I will read my Bible anytime, anywhere.
* I AM devoted to serving God while loving my family unconditionally.
* I AM a musician. I will practice the gifts God has given me and use them for His Glory.
* I AM perfectly me. I will struggle, fail, get back up and keep on trying.
Honestly, even when I wrote that list out I had to change the way I was thinking several times. I put “I will try …” or “I will do my best…”. Change doesn’t happen in a moment. It takes time. But there is no better time than now. I don’t want 1..5..10 years to pass and still be where I’m at today. I don’t want Zoe to be 10 years old and believe that her phone is more important than our relationship.
Maybe the list of I AM’s isn’t right for you at this moment in your life. Maybe you need a list of I CAN’s or I WILL’s maybe a list of MY GOALS. -Really I just love making lists and any chance I get, I’ll gladly make one. Whatever you do, remember that you are loved and you have a reason for breathing each day. You wonderful human, you.