I love that God speaks to us all in different ways. Some hear His audible voice, some have dreams, visions, some simply have nudges from God. I have some friends who can even smell something when God shows up.
Sometimes in Worship (musical worship), the presence of God is so strong I become overwhelmed and just cry. He doesn’t always say something to me, I can just feel Him with me and it’s awesome. It makes my heart happy to know that because we are not all the same, He doesn’t treat us like we are. He meets us where we are at and knows what we need and when.
Sometimes He is silent. And it doesn’t always make sense at the moment, but I think back to when I believed Him to be silent in my life, and those were the times where my life and own thoughts were loudest. He may have tried to speak to me, but the noise around me was so strong it drowns Him out.
This past Sunday was not a silent day. I lead at my home Church (Ebenezer Baptist, in Saskatoon, SK) and during the second service, I could feel Him hovering around the room. When our lead pastor Leyton, got up to pray I held my hands up to Him like I have many times before.
But this time was so different.
I felt as if He grabbed my hands and held on tight. Now, I didn’t actually feel hands in my hands, but somehow I knew, it was if God was holding them. I curled my fingers down and rested in that moment. That might not make sense to everyone, but I don’t know how to explain it any other way. And God spoke to me in that moment.
When we are teaching Zoe to take steps, we come behind and above her, grab her hands and help her take those tiny steps forward. She smiles and giggles, and one day she will walk on her own.
Sunday morning, God was coming up behind me, above me, and holding my hands. I felt as if he wanted to teach me how to run that morning. He was saying “Trust me. I’ve got you. I want to teach you new things. Better things.”.
I became a Christian when I was 4. When I was 13 I made the decision to be baptized and live my life fully and faithfully for Him. I count that as the day that I truly started walking with the Lord. That means that Spiritually I am 12 years old. A 12-year-old should know A LOT of common sense, be able to walk and run and play and learn and grow. Yet somehow in my faith, I am just walking, unsteady at times, wobbling around and falling left and right. I feel like a toddler at times in my faith. Do you feel like that sometimes?
This past Sunday, I believe God spoke to me saying it’s time to RUN. I have no idea what this means for me. But I trust that He who has never steered me wrong will continue to have good plans for me if I just let Him have control.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29: 11
“In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9
I AM SO EXCITED.
I hope to never forget that feeling of Him holding my hands, asking me to trust Him. It was such a beautiful picture of love and growth. This season I have been digging further into the word, I am praying more whole-heartedly, I am listening for his nudges and I WANT to be used.
I think it’s also important to say God’s timing is not our own. I won’t learn to “run” in a day, and sometimes it takes years for God’s plans to be revealed. Again, that’s part of the beauty of Him being in control, and not me.
It’s a wonderful thing to be fully reliant on Him. A wonderful thing indeed.